Can you feel your heartbeat racing?

yaaaawwwnn

2007-07-05T19:47:42Z

helllloooooo livejournal!!!!

it's been forever since i updated this thing... and im at work.... bored as usual, so im taking the opportunity. soooo life's crazy, as always. i think it's just destined for me to have a drama filled life.
update on the latest.... boys will be boys... and break girls hearts. i dont know how someone can have the audacity to do the things he did. buuuuut i hope it comes back to him and he learns his lesson. you dont treat people that way. as for me... i can and will do better. I will not settle for the first member of the opposite sex to show me some attention... like you did. we all know you're settling... shes gross. or maybe im just comparing her to myself. and im not conceited, but dang... what are you thinking?

other than that, my life is amazing... well the social part of it. I have my besty back. and i couldnt be happier. Thank God for forgiveness. I made mistakes, and i learned from them. thanks for loving me... despite my imperfections. you're the best. and i never want to loose you again! <33

I miss my life of... sleep till 2, go to work at 3:30, work till 12, go to the bar... party all night... REPEAT
i felt like i actual had a life then. now i get up at 6:30am go to work at 8, work till 5 go home, REPEAT.
im not too fond of it. but what can you do? it works for now..... i guess

it's been an amazing 2 days. it's consisted of hookah, beer, late night swimming, bed parties, shower parties, true friends... and other things not so appropriate for the public eye.... but wow... amazing...

it's peanut butter jelly timmmmme
shh dont tell him that the razor he uses on his face.....hehehehe
bing bing bong bing na na na shing bing bong bing...
whattssss upppp (deep voice)
its just a butt... i mean come on... seriously.. its ok.

4th of july wasn't as bad as i had anticipated....it was one of those days... i figured i'd lay in my bed and cry all day... one of those... "last year at this time i was super in love and having the time of my life... and this year... wont compare"
but it wasnt like that. i mean i had my moments... but me and brittany went to keystone haha and ate lots of food.. and of course.. played wii. beer and fireworks were there too. it at least took my mind off the unavoidable. which is what i was going for.

next week should be fuuuuun. someones mom is going out of town... ehem...parrrrtttyyy... but no holes in the walls... not this time.
annnyways... i guess il go be productive somehow.

<333

mmk

2006-11-16T05:39:08Z

you know im such a fool for you
you've got me wrapped around your finger
do you have to let it linger?

its been SO long since i have updated my LJ
weird...

but it's like 12:30 am
and im bored and feeling like writting

so here goes.

im going to New York next week and im stoked.
i love it so much up there... it's so much different than OP
and i get to see my sister and her kids aw i miss them alot.

i might not come back
im not kidding

its raining outside like its no ones business...
i dont like it.

im sleeping alone tonight and i dont like that very much either.
i want a cuddle buddy.

this isnt as much fun as i thought it would be.
im done
goodnight

damn.. first post since january

2006-05-25T12:56:45Z

ahhh good ol LJ... its been quite a while <3

since my last post when i lost my job at First American I have worked at Wachovia, quit, went to New York for 2 months, came home and started working at J.B. Matthews as a Residential Coordinator.

My sister had twins. Rachel Lynn and Lillian Marie. They have got to be the most beautiful baby girls i have ever seen. I miss them so much.

while I was in New York I experienced true farm/country girl lifestyle. I lived on a farm, we had 50 chickens, 2 pigs,5 cats, and a dog a garden and an orchard. I planted seeds, feed the animals, made meals souly consisting of the vegitables from the garden, rode a tractor, and found out you can eat dandelions, and violets... and i did.

It was so different than Orange Park. I had mountains and a river in my front yard. It was so pretty, There was definately a part of me that didnt want to come home.

buuuut i did and here i am.

Things with Billy and I are amazing, I couldnt be happier. He is one of the best things that has happened to me in a while..<333

Brittany you of course are the other. so sh. I have been reaquainted with my bffl. we were lacking in the good times department fo sho. but last night brought them all back
rum.. coke.. beer all that good stuff... oh and Evergreen Terrace of course...

hangin on the sun roof on 17
"you have hook dust on your dash"
dude... you peed your pants?
BALLS ON THE LIGHT SWITCH!!
SHE DATED DUSTIN! AND ERIC... so bitch you made out with nathan... he fucks black girls... try and throw me under the bus.. I WIN <3

ahh yes i love you.. more of that shit to come on Friday... and then momma is outttttta town... which means we will be room mates until she gets back. can't wait <3

well

2006-01-19T04:28:33Z

fuck you First American Title.
Who fires someone with no warning....and no reason?
oh well jokes on you....good luck finding someone who will sit at the receptionist desk for a year and put up with the shit i did.
oh well job interveiw tomorrow with a company paying me 3 more dollars than what i was making there.....
funny how things work out
<3
goodnight lovers

yep...we "fucked shit up" fo sho <3

2006-01-17T14:24:03Z

good times good times..... so this weekend Billy, Paul, and I ventured out on a 7 hour roadtrip to North Carolina to see Brittany <3. We left at 11:00 pm on Friday and got there around 6:30 am Saturday. when we got there it was snowing. it was so pretty. I havent seen snow in so long. sooo we slept till about 12 on Saturday and got up and drove to the liquor store... i have never driven in snow before so i was goin all grandma style...fuck you guys we got there and back safely...in under ehhh an hour? anyways.... after this our weekend consisted of.......

Captain and Coke <3
vodka , tequilla, cranberry juice, and orange juice
snow angels...in tank tops...thanks to the above mentioned liquids
trampoline jumping...in the snow....with no shoes on...^ ditto ^
four wheelin....where we definatley "fucked shit up" <3
Paul getting stuck in the mud and not knowing how to put it in reverse... yes...you're "fuckin stupid"
Harry Potter....like 2343 times....and i dont know why they were so into this movie
Starbucks
scarfs.... " at least your neck will be warm"
someone who had a little bit to much alcohol and couldnt function their "equiptment" :o)
little 5 year old that told my boyfriend "ill fight you for her.." he was adorable
97 bags of chips.... "what kind? " "potatoe" POTATOE?? CHIPS!! dumbass
bananna pudding... "with sour cream?? ew thats fuckin nasty"

"Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots, and ruined your black tie afair..... I was the last one to know, the last one to show, I was the last one you thought you'd see there. and I saw the surprise and the fear in his eyes when I took his glass of champaign and I toasted you said "hunny we may be through but you'll never hear me complain!!" Cause I got friends in low places where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away.......aaand I'll be okay!!! And I'm not big on social graces think I'll slip on down to the oasis cause I got friends..... in low places!!! <333

We are definately in Bojangles
"WTF is a gorge?"
bull riding on the bed... this is a damn rodeo
oh shit look! a porta potty! muahahah
hey it's your turn....in my pants... who's up? in my pants.... no i just went! in my pants.... in my pants? fuck ring of fire..aka Kings for real!
virgin drinks that no one knew about... i <3 you

There will definately be more 14 hour roundtrips to Weaverville... it was a great weekend! I <3 <3 <3 you smoo hahahahahha that makes me laugh alot!

a_memory_to_me @ 2006-01-13T15:14:00

2006-01-13T20:16:22Z

did Friday get better? NO.....

Friday...

sometime during the night my electricty went off....and so this morning my alaram didnt go off.....did i wake up at 6:30 for work? ohhh no... i woke up at 8:30 and was an hour and a half late for work....and i also missed the funeral for the man we worked with...

HAPPY FRIGGIN FRIDAY THE 13th

a_memory_to_me @ 2006-01-12T09:29:00

2006-01-12T14:41:09Z

Let me give you a little update of my week so far.....

Monday

got to work late
Jennifer wasnt here so I had to do her work...aswell as mine
had no phone, because i dropped it in the toilet during the weekend
got the line " im in love with her.... the past 4 years were great but it's over...please dont call me anymore"
went to Alltel to get a new phone...buuuut they were closed already....surprise surprise.. i wouldnt expect anything to go right
spent the night locked in my room

Tuesday

sat in traffic for an hour
finally got to work at 8:45
got called into my bosses office
got written up for being late, like its my fault there is traffic
had 1000 rushes on my desk by 10:00
a man we work with died
went to Alltel, bought a new phone...cost me $180... of which i didnt have to spend.
had to be the good friend and drive almost to fucking keystone to pick up some friends b/c they locked their keys in the car and had no other way home.

Wednesday

got to work on time
the day went by SO slow
went to church...just the smell of that place makes me want to cry...memories suck
went to dinner with my mom...
saw him, got in a fight... left, cried all the way home...amazing.

Thursday

woke up late
had to clean up kitten shit
spilled red nail polish all over myself, my floor, and my chair
had to change into a completely different outfit (of which im not content with)
left the house late
forgot my money, which means no lunch for me today
got pulled over... yes... did you think it was gonna get any better? psh

im scared to see what tomorrow holds...this seriously has been a week from hell......maybe the weekend will be better....hopefully... idk how much more bullshit i can handle......

North Carolina here we come <3 4 wheeling and captain morgan sounds amazing to me

love hurts

2006-01-11T17:10:06Z

nothings alright and nothings okay when you're living in a memory

life is good <3

2006-01-06T14:36:19Z

it's funny how much things can change in a time frame of 2 weeks.... life is such a mystery...and i can 't seem to figure it out.... i guess thats the way it's supposed to be though i mean if you had everything figured out...thatd be one hell of a boring life.... if that makes any sense....

soooo Billy and I went to Johnny Carrino's for his birthday last night.... it was fun...i love that place it's so good. things are going well in that area...im happy.

looks like we're going to North Carolina the weekend after next to visit Brittany....roadtrips are always good..... all i know is Paul better be giving me some gas money.... trips to NC and a V8 engine dont go well together....it should be a good time though ... i miss that bitch <3 seems asif it'll be nothing but party all night...sleep all day.... im content with that schedule :o)

Vystar has officially gone to hell.... the end

work sucks im so friggin bored.... i wish 11:30 would hurry up.....we're all going to Red Lobster for lunch....im stoked...getting out of the office for 2 hours AND getting some good ass food? yes... i do love this job.

i hate it how some people dont realize we're out of highschool....and the bullshit doesnt need to continue..... here are some highschoolish behaviorisms. if you fall under any of these....fuck you....you know who you are

tagging peoples cars "F YOU"
playing the game of... " i have a new best friend" thats just lame and i do believe we did that thing our senior year....shes shitty and maybe you'll realize it AGAIN
" i love you"......a week later " no wait... i met someone else"
petty arguments over something that wont matter in 3 days.....

im so tired of people and their drama.... you know the kind that everywhere they go...they arent getting along with someone....or someone has shit to talk about them? i dont have time for that.....just grow up please? thanks <3

tonight....drinking....tomorrow....show then probably more drinking..... should be a good weekend....

later hoes <3333333

a_memory_to_me @ 2006-01-03T08:52:00

2006-01-03T15:50:56Z

****HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! ****

so pros and cons of this past year.....2005

PROS....

made some true friends...
got rid of shitty ones
learned what it was like to have loved
done stupid shit....and had alot of fun....then learned from my mistakes
got a really good job...and kept it
got a raise and a promotion
got a new car!
learned how important it is to choose wisely who you let into your life
got out and had a good time....despite my parents rules.
had lots of meaningless flings....those are always fun :o)
discovered alcohol... which can go under both categories.

CONS....

realized who my true friends were...the hard way
lost 2 people...one to cancer...one to a car accident...R.I.P. you guys :o(
got in numerous fights with my parents.
got hurt time and time again by the male species....they all suck
had to give up on something i knew i'd never have </3
once again....discovered alcohol....
lost something i cant never get back....

<3....all in all it was a good year...lots of good times, and bad ones....lots of lessons learned....lots of friends and memories made.... <3

onto other things.... new years eve was fun....when the captain and coke set it of course....it consisted of...

me,kim,paul,charlie,mike,billy,and brian... playing drinking games.... steak-n-shake...toilet paper...bathroom memorable moments.... people getting thrown into bushes....cheese fries...pretty drinks of vodka and cranberry....kisses at midnight, too bad charlie was evans first kiss of 2005....sometimes i wonder about these kids i hang out with...lots of pictures....and staying up till the sun came up....good times good times....

and today back to work....it sucks im not gonna lie....but ehh whatever...it'll do. hopefully today i'll get my cat back....damned keith pierson doesnt know how to repair a heater...ugggh its frustrating that ive had a new car for about a week...and have only driven it...all of 3 times.... yeah kiss it toyota dealerships.

i did lots of shopping this past weekend....and i got 3 of the cutest watches i have ever seen...ever in my life... i <3 Target, 2 tank tops, 2 skirts, some sunglasses... aaaaand some makeup. and im still rich as shit...i <3 this job...and the pay :o)

so im thinking i wanna go somewhere....like...for vacation... i have 2 weeks vacation time saved up...anyone wanna go? im thinking....Cali..or NY...it'd be fun as shit....so lets go!

allright this is getting boring and im just rambling....so im out <3333333333

good weekend...yes indeedy.

2005-12-27T15:51:37Z

sooo Merry Christmas and all that stuff.... i got............

4 new shirts from american eagle
jeans
reef flip flops...
flanel sheets....those things are the SHIT
new phone
digital camera
lots of money
laguna beach....season one.... gotta love it
3 new belts

AAAAND it wasnt a gift but i got a new dodge durango yesterday...and i think im in love with it... it's beige with black leather interior... its a V8.... and its got some mother fucking kick to it.... i LOVE it.... and yes i am now in debt...but who gives a shit? i have a good job and ill pay it off....eventually :o)

the whole weekened consisted of apt. hang out time and rum and coke....and for some...JAGER....which by the way i cant drink anymore. :-( but rum works....works well..... its becoming just a nightly thing to go over there and hang out.... better than sitting at home... and theres always something going on....

HAPPY HANUKKA!! blow out that candle brittany.. and i'll shoot you in the face....not even kidding
who wants this jager shot? ohh no one? ::DROP/THROW:: right onto the floor....good job with that
go be bunnies
going through drive thrus 4 times in one night officially makes us fat asses....
"brittany.... i just cant do this anymore...theres another girl... and i know if i stay here with you, i'll end up forgetting all about her....i'm sorry but we cant do this"
" i just got out of a relationship....we have to take this slow...." DAMNIT You got all the talks this weekend..... too bad none of them know you have more than one of them and you just dont care.....thats my girl.

the end of memories.... i know there are more.... but i cant think of them right now.... so thats all i got....

but seriously... i think i spent over 100 dollars on drive thru food this weekend.... going and getting drunk and wanting food is just inevitable....soooo yeah 100 dollars out the window.....haha literally... that was funny...okay im done

later bitches <3

all my thugs cock your nine's like this

2005-12-22T15:29:58Z

....shoot a bitch and don't you miss

sooo went to a show last night with my good ol TF brittany....yes it was lame...b/c we thought Our Finest Hour was gonna be there buuuuut SYKE....they didnt come...so we sat at the bar for a hot 2 hours and listened to this bitch ass girl

"OOOOMMMMGGG guess what i got for christmas you guys!!!! A MUSTANG!!!! aka....im a rich ass snob...and i suck......"
"heey mr bar tender....please watch my stuff and save my seat ill be right back!!!"
"will you pick that chair up...and bring it to me...b/c im a pussy and i cant do it myself...."

as Billy says " heeeeeeey call Jenny Craig..... you're not tht cute!!!!"

nice Billy......reaaaaaaaaaal nice....

sooo yeah whatever lame....next time i have the idea to go to a lame show...punch me in the face.

oh and BTW... i missed over 30 calls....in 2 hours....from this certain EX boyfriend of mine who doesnt know how to take a hint.

Brittany......seriously......

stoooooooop.....lemmmeeeeee doooo ittttt!!!!! ( with your foot on my steering wheel)
baby cause imma thug..... " thats my motha fuckin song nigga!!!" wait did you just say something about the dirty south....wtf did you just say?
NOOO dont roll down the window!!! people will shoot you for that!!!!
can you add a pink taco to that order? wait.... they dont have those... i acutally had to think aboutt hat for a second....
knuck if you buck boi....ewwwww you really have a black girl voice coming out of you!! thats scary!!!
hooooooott fuuuuudddgeeee sunnnndaaaayyyy!!! with 2.14 in quarters of course...thats how we roll bitch
SHIT! ::covers mouth like a little girl:: hehehehe!!!

yes...... i effin love you...

Christmas is in 3 days...... and im excited... alot. even though we only get one day off from work....mehh whatever with bonuses like that... who cares? thats about all i got..... i gotta do some work

love <333

a_memory_to_me @ 2005-12-20T12:01:00

2005-12-20T17:08:01Z

<33333 on the scales of desire....your abesence weighs more than someone else's presence <3333

i miss you.....

<3 if it feels this good gettin used...just keep usin me till you use me all up <3

2005-12-16T16:42:40Z

ahh yet another day at work....its absolutely FREEZING outside...and its cold in here as well....gotta love it....going out last night wasnt exactly the best idea i ever had... idk why i go out when i know i have to get up at 6 the next morning....but ehhh it was a good time.....cute boys always make a night seem decent...especially ones with cute little accents. ;o) so anyways im exhausted...freezing...and bored with no work...and myspace is blocked...so eljay is my only option.....

life has seemed to change in oh so many ways these past few months...lost some friends....made some new ones...severed old ties....mended some friendships/whatever we will call it....im content...as content as you can be with a broken heart..with no hope of it getting better....with the one i want to get better with <3

i think the worst thing/feeling is sitting back watching the one you love...love someone else. its a fucked up situation all together. but i have no one to blame other than myself....

onto bigger and better things.... i got a 960 dollar christmas bonus.....which makes me incredibly happy... christmas is in 9 days...it doesnt feel like christmas like it used to when i was little... i miss that feeling "i want you to want me... i need you to need me...i'd love you to love me..and im beggin you to beg me <3"

underoath is playing sometime this weekend and i wanna go..simply b/c they are amazing 9000... but it looks asif that wont be happening...which sucks but im sure they'll be back... i havent been to a show in SO long... i miss it.

i still have christmas shopping to do...and packages to send out to New York... i guess i need to get busy... i suppose thats what my weekend will consist of.

this post is definately a bunch of random thoughts and just about pointless...sorry.

<3 if it feels this good gettin used...baby, just keep usin me till you use me all up <3

sooo im goin out to lunch with tim today..and i hung out with a guy that sweats me last night...and im supposed to hang out with yet another night and saturday...its weird that im getting so much attention from all these guys that seem to like me...yet i dont find it satisfying at all..baby i want attention from you and no one else.....that's what would satisfy me.

"dont baby...dont baby..dont let it go...dont forget about us <3"

and im gonna go....i should probably do some work...since thats what im getting paid for....later bitches i love you all <3333

a_memory_to_me @ 2005-12-14T16:47:00

2005-12-14T21:54:44Z

so its been a while...and lots has happened.... not too sure whats goin through his mind...what can i say?

Everytime you look at me I wanna die, wanna die
Stranger things that I would say to make you feel the way I feel
Its just that I have been broken so many *thousand times*
And everytime I start again I wonder why, wonder why?
Its been such a hard year, it won't ever change

memories are a bitch....and love is an even bigger one..... but i dont regret any of it...never regret something that once made you smile...and man did i smile....alot...... idk..live and learn not to fuck people over i suppose....lifes little lessons hurt alot.... i wish it was different...but its not..and i cant change that now....it'll take a while..maybe one day it'll go back to normal...but that would be a miracle.....but hell...thats what im hoping for.as the saying goes.....you always want what you cant have...and damnit i want it bad. but there's just no hope...theres too much history.. and too much pain and way too many people against it....it would never work...why do i do this to myself?...its like im a living doormat...he messes up..we fight..he comes back... its an ongoing cycle... and i dont seem to be bothered by it.....love is blind.i guess as long as he comes back....ill take it... cause baby...even if i never showed it...you've *always* had...and *always* will have my heart <3

fuck you baby.....you're not different

2005-11-15T16:18:39Z

dont you just LOVE the phrase "im different....i wouldnt do that" i actually believed that the first few times i heard it......but throw me that line now...and all i'll have to say is SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS...... arent there any guys in this world with morals and standards....who dont just throw themselves ontop of the first blonde in a mini skirt? i dont see the point in being fake....and putting up the "mr nice guy" front when you KNOW for a fact....when you have this girl wrapped around your finger....you WILL break their heart and you WILL do it intentionally........ " its better to be hated for who you are than be loved for who you're not "why dont people get that? ahhh whatever.....

and that was my venting sssion for the day...enjoy <3

<3 florida gators and lessons learned <3

2005-11-07T15:05:28Z

so all in all this weekend was amazing....despite amandas normal bullshit and drama...but that was very easliy overcome after realizing what kind of person she turned out to be....ironic.....yet so predictable...some people just dont understand how to be a good friend....but it all worked out for the better....for me atleast...im not the one whos a lying ass whore bag......

I went to Gville for the Vandy game.....it was amazing....besides the double OT.....but hey....we still won.....and thats alot more than another certain Florida team can say ::cough cough FSU:: of whom we will whoop up on on the 26th ;o) come prepared Gator Haters....yall will loose......back to my weekend....its the first time i have ever gone to Gville and didnt.....get plastered...make a fool of myself....makeout with a random frat boy...pass out in someones bed of whom i dont know....only to be followed by an hour drive home with an incredible hangover without having a shower.....i must say....gville is a totally different experience while sober....i liked it. its sad when power hour doesnt even come close to phasing you... i guess that means i need a break from drinking...i mean honestly...60 shots in an hour and im still walking in a straight line and keeping everything down? idk somethings wrong. so thats final....no more drinking.....'till next weekend of course <333333333 GO GATORS <33333333

so i found out....the guy that i was dating a while back....the one that i wrote about on here about only lasting a month and bla bla bla.....well we talked the other day...and i find out that the reason he stopped talking to me and why everything came to an abrupt and complete stop out of no where is b/c his mom was rushed to the hospital and put on life support...he's spent the past couple weeks up there with her...crying his little heart out.... i feel like super bitch after ripping into him after he did finally call me....but hey...what can you do? i wish i would have known what was going on....i might have taken it all easier.... shes better now.......and we're no longer on speaking terms..... i guess i shouldnt jump to assumptions....he was a good guy....

my little brother of 17 has a record....and hes only 17....its not much of one....besides "messing around" in a parking lot....and getting caught by the cops....and the cops calling my house....and then my parents excusing it...like its just a way of a teenage boys life....man oh man i know if i got caught doing some shit like that at 17...i wouldnt live to tell about it....its unreal how they treat him like hes 17 going on 25 and me like im still 14 going on 15.....oh yeah and he threw a chicken wing at someones car and broke the mirror....whats this world coming to...my little brother is a hellian.

thats about all i got for now........ and next weekend Orlando....with a TF.... <3

These words, fall from your mouth, and stab me in the back It should have never come to this Its too late, for your apologies They can't bring back all that you've taken from me Stripped of my pride, and left for dead This time is the last time I take this abuse I've found my place, and this place is far away from you How can you say, I'm at fault the one to blame is you Stripped of my pride, and left for dead I'm so tired of apologizing to myself for you And what you've done to me And I've tried, to forgive myself for caring about you There's nothing I can do... This time is the last time I take this abuse I've found my place, and this place is far away from you I'm so tired of apologizing to myself for you And what you've done to me And I've tried, to forgive myself for caring about you There's nothing I can do...

fuck whores and so called best friends

2005-10-31T21:01:46Z

i love the feeling of thinking you know someone inside and out....only to realize one day....they are not even close to who you thought they were..... this goes out to the "best friend" i thought i had....to the "best friend" who told me they'd never hurt me nor screw me over....this is for the "best friend" i told everything to....the "best friend " whos feelings i ALWAYS put in front of mine....all seems so pointless now..... so all i have left for you....is a big FUCK YOU.... you screwed with my feelings one to many times...and thats not all you screwed with....you screwed with the guy you KNEW i liked.... you have no class and YOU ARE A WHORE......you'll get no where with that.....good job...and good luck in life skank

a_memory_to_me @ 2005-10-20T09:45:00

2005-10-20T13:50:11Z

wow.....okay typical F U blog.....and i have alot...this week has been shit

F U mr. 20 foot death man at halloween horror nights for knowing my name and almoset giving me heart failure

F U alcohol for making me act the way i did at halloween horror nights...but at least i was to drunk to be scared

F U mcdonalds in orlando for screwing up every order we gave you

F U traffic on 95 that we have to sit in for an hour b/c it's only 1 lane from 8pm-6am

F U who freak out when amanda and i want to do chinese fire drills in traffic to keep ourselves entertained.... LOL just kiddin steph

F U haters for looking at us weird when we went to CrackerBarrel in our pajamas

F U drunk ass kid who thought the number to the taxi service was 6999999999....you really had no idea what you were talking about

F U big ol sound proof couch cusion that was hiding my phone...when i couldnt find it for like an hour

F U ....i like to take my jaeger shots from a big cooking spoon

F U house keeping for waking us up at 9 in the morning

F U american eagle that ruined my outfit on saturday night. thats all i have to say about that one

F U squirrels for running in the middle of the highway and making steph slam on her brakes while i was trying to sleep in the backseat lol

F U drunk people that delete cute pictures when you dont know what you're doing :o) i<3 you amanda

F U lady on 295 that flicked me off for going to slow when i was going 85...then proceeding to pull up next to me...roll down your window and causing a cuss out road rage fight until the blanding exit....yea F U

and finally.....a BIG F U goes out to whoever broke into my car at 4:00 this morning....setting my alarm off for all the neighbors to come outside and see my window all over the road....you are officially a LAME ASS...who's gonig to get no where in life...get your own damn car FFFFFUUUUUU

and im done <3

officially WTF Wednesday's....followed by F U Thursdays

2005-10-19T20:11:42Z

WTF.......is wrong with guys and their desire to talk to a girl...get them interested....get some ass then it all goes to hell

WTF...... is my problem with wearing my heart on my sleeve

WTF.....is the deal with me meeting people i am extremly fond of only for them to prove me VERY VERY wrong

WTF....is the problem with drinking to much beer? NOTHING ill tell ya....NOTHING

WTF......why am i working a 9-5 job at the age of 19?

WTF.......why is it so nice outside and im sitting at a desk INSIDE

WTF......why does it bother me so much?

WTF......if the deal with getting attention from every guy except the one you want it from

WTF.....am i gonna do when all my friends go to tally the weekend of the florida vs. georgia game? b/c im sure as hell not gonna miss it.

WTF Wednesdays make me bitter and anticipate F U Thursdays.....UGHHH BYE!

a_memory_to_me @ 2005-10-17T16:17:00

2005-10-17T20:26:12Z

well at least it lasted a whole month....guys are SHIT

just some randoms to waste time till work is over

2005-10-11T21:13:45Z

i love my best friend...alot.
chocolate doughnuts are amazing.
i spent way to much money this past weekend
death makes you think....alot.
alcohol makes me tell whatever is on my mind to anyone who asks.
i hate this switch of jobs every time the new receptionst isnt up to par....
i got 2 new purses, 7 new shirts, a pair of pants and some earrings for under 100 dollars...and its all cute.
i want to go back to highschool...things were easier.
brent and i are no longer on speaking terms...which is somewhat.... relieving
im actually content with life right now.
i like him alot...the only thing thats different this time...is im expecting heartbreak so it wont hurt so bad...

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

a_memory_to_me @ 2005-10-06T21:22:00

2005-10-07T01:20:32Z

oh and if anyone wants some gator vs mississippi state tickets for saturday....let me know i have 2...and they are on the 3rd row

a_memory_to_me @ 2005-10-06T21:16:00

2005-10-07T01:14:58Z

An E-Mail sent out from Martha Dandridge (Stephen's Mother)

We just arrived home from the hospital and I wanted to get this email out to all of you. Last night when we took Stephen to the hospital, it was the best place for him. He was able to be with the family of nurses and aides that have loved him for the past year and the ones who could keep him comfortable. It was decided that we would allow Stephen to pass without intervening knowing that it would only prolong the inevitable. Even though Stephen was labored in his breathing, he had enough meds that he was without pain and didn't know he was struggling. Bernie stayed the night and I came this morning. His brother Jon also spent all day with him. Stephen wasn't coherent much but I believe he knew his loved ones were there. It was hard to see him labor so, but thankfully it wasn't long that he labored. He passed away at 11:52 tonight and Bernie and I and Jon and Jon's long time girlfriend Courtney were all there with him. Please allow me to share our last moments. I was sitting next to his bed and praying that God would take him home. It didn't make sense to me why He was waiting. But then the thought came to me that there must be someone who either needed to see Stephen or that Stephen needed to hear from. It was about 11:35 and three of Stephen's friends came. I didn't know they were coming but after I had that thought, I was at peace with them showing up so late. I knew at the time I had the thought, that God was in control and that Stephen would be ok to wait until it was time. Seeing Stephen labor so was a very upsetting sight for everyone who came to see him today especially for the teenagers. I told the boys to go ahead and talk to Stephen if they wanted to and one of them said that he hadn't known him very long, but Stephen had had a great influence in his life and that he loved him. One other said how much he loved Stephen and how he was still fighting for him. I took them outside the room and told them that Stephen wasn't in any pain and that he really wasn't aware that he was struggling. I also told them that one thing that Stephen shared with his father and I a couple of weeks ago was that it was important that he see his friends again after he passes. I shared that with his friends, gave them all hugs and went back into the room. I held his hand and had my other hand on his shoulder and it was probably just a minute or two that I knew he was leaving us. I was glad that the 4 of us were there with him alone and had time to be with him. I'm so sad at losing that boy. It breaks my heart to know that he isn't here any more. But this I know, that he isn't struggling any more and that he is in a much better place. I don't know why he died at 18 but I'm so thankful he was mine. Please pray that Bernie and I will have the strength for tomorrow as there will be plans to make and decisions to be made and neither one of us have had much sleep these last 2 days. Pray for Jon as he loved his brother so much and for Sara. She doesn't know yet but did get to spend time with him today after school. Thank you for all you have done for my family. For the prayers and support and encouragement and friendship. We have been truly blessed by each of you. May God bless you. Love Martha

Please keep this family in your thoughts and prayers...Stephen was such an amazing person... The veiwing is Friday night from 6-8 at the Hardige/Giddens/Rivermead Funeral Home on Blanding next to the mall and the Funeral is on Saturday at 11 at Island Veiw Baptist Church on 17 across from the Wendy's.

Stephen Dandridge 6/16/87-10/4/2005....we all love and miss you!!

i dont even know how to explain it....

2005-09-23T03:57:17Z

well.....once again i am reminded of how much i have to be thankful for, and what a blessing it is to just be alive..most people take something as simple, yet so complex as life...for granted...you really dont think of it until death hits you in the face..i cant even imagine....it sets things/priorities straight when you see someone with such a good heart looking death in the eyes....he doesnt deserve any of this...and its crazy how much God puts on someone...he's honestly the most kind hearted person i have ever met and its so scary that he has to go through this....to get this kind of sickness at such a young age...to begin your senior year knowing you have cancer...and THINKING you will make it...only to find out its getting worse...and still never go without smiling...i have NEVER seen him when he wasnt smiling...ever at the baseball banquet when he was telling his story...he was thanking God for giving him the life he had....THANKING GOD! idk it blows my mind how one can be so strong...knowing his life will shortly come to an end...ah so many thoughts....i dont even know what to say.....

Please keep Stephen Dandridge and his family in your thoughts and prayers....it's unatainable ....the whole situation is...all of my problems seem to be nothing in comparison to this and i feel selfish for complaining about anything i have going on in my life....they say everything happens for a reason...and i think Stephen's situation has taught alot of people something...and has lead alot of people to the realization that God works in mysterious ways.....wow...its indescribable...not that i was even that close to him...but just the fact that we worked together and went to school together...one day someone is perfectly fine...and then a short year later they are going home after hearing they have 2 weeks to live...i dont even know what i'd do with that kind of news...my brother went and saw him tonight...and he said he acted asif nothing was wrong...asif he was just a typical teenager...living the typical teenaged life...talking about football and college parties...hes STRONG..i respect him so much.....lots to think about....